)The Guilt by Rayda Jacobs ( South Africa)

Lilian Thurgood was busy picking guavas at the side of the house when she heard the growling of the Alsatians on the stoep. Just a low growl telling her that someone had stopped at the gate. Perhaps it was the postman, she thought, dropping something into her box. She looked about her for a moment. They were at the end of winter, the morning fresh with the footprints of rain. She marveled at the brightly coloured new tips of trees, the pots of purple and pink geraniums with cellophane drops glistening on the leaves, the cluster of basil and oregano sprouting near the lemon tree. She liked the mornings, when God’s breath was hot on the earth and steam rose from it in easy surrender. Then she heard the growling again. Still low, but more intense. Someone had stopped at the gate and was not going away. She put down the basket with the guavas, and reached for her cane.

She reached the front of the house and saw Tembi and Tor like sentinels at the gate. Fierce and powerful dogs, they had been trained by her late husband to follow specific commands. It was the man’s calmness that held them back.

“Can I help you?” Lilian asked.

“I am looking for work, madam.”

“I don’t have any work.”

He reached into a brown envelope and lifted out a plastic wrapped sheet of paper. “I am from the Transkei, madam. I have here a letter.” Lilian Thurgood looked at him. He was young, persistent, wore dark pants and a jacket that had seen darning and letting out, but was clean. She had seen these letters before, but took it from him anyway. As she suspected,  a letter on a home- made letterhead- the paper dirty, water- stained, dog-eared- saying William Sidlay was collecting donations on behalf of some organization. The man was doubly prepared. If he could not find work, he would ask for a handout. The letter made it easier to beg. She handed the letter back through the grill of the gate. The gate was locked, the wall round the property ten feet high.

“Wait here,” she said. “Thank you, madam.”

Lilian left him at the gate and started to walk to the house, listening to the renewed growls of the dogs.

In the house, she looked for change in her purse. She knew it was a mistake. She should have been hardened by now. Every day people knocked on her door for food, old clothes, money, and work. Most days she did not answer. They took merciless advantage, especially since the new government. There was a boldness not seen before.

She remembered the African woman who had knocked at her door one night at nine. Lilian did not want to go out. It was raining, a long walk to the gate, but there was the woman, with a child on her back and one at her side. Did the madam have garbage bags, she called. An unusual request, especially at that time of night. And Lilian could not see well in the dark. What if there was a second person waiting behind the wall with a knife or a gun? The papers were full of stories of people getting killed in their own gardens and houses, and she had heard of husband- and- wife crime waves.

She went to the gate. There was no one but the woman and her children, but it irked her that she should be afraid in her own home, that they thought it all right to knock on your door any time of the day or night. Was it racist if you were afraid and did not want to open your door to strangers? But, of course, she knew what it was. It was making good on the guilt, the guilt they were accused of having. As benefactors of the old regime, whites were shot through with guilt. And where there was guilt there was opportunity. Like the woman who saw her sit on the stoep the other day and begged Lilian to buy four geranium plants for two rand. Her garden was overcrowded with flowers, but the woman insisted. If the madam would buy eight plants for four rand, she would even plant them. Lilian had felt sorry for the woman and opened the gate. The woman threw herself to the ground with her grocery bags in which she kept the plants individually wrapped in wet newspaper, and asked for water so she could wet the ground. Lilian went round the side of the house for the hose and when she returned, there was the woman with thirty plants in the soil. How she had managed to plant so many in a few minutes, Lilian did not know. “Please madam,” the woman begged, “it’s almost five o’clock. I karn go home with these last few plants. Madam won’t regret it, madam will see. I’ll even give madam a special price, twelve rand.” Lilian gave the woman the twelve rand. 

Then was the man who had rung persistently at her gate, and when Lilian came out, he asked for money for the bus as he did not know how he was going to get home. When Lilian told him she had no money, he asked for clothes, and when she said she had none, he asked for food. But not brown bread, he added. Could he please have a tin of fish?

Lilian’s thoughts returned to the young man waiting at the gate, and she fished around in her purse for loose change. There was only a five- rand coin and twenty- three cents. Five rand was a lot of money for a pensioner to give away, but she could not give him twenty- three cents. What could a grown man do with twenty- three cents? He could not even buy a cigarette. She was suddenly angry. Angry that she should be standing there examining her conscience. That she should feel guilt for his circumstances, and shame for the forged letter in his hand, for having to beg, for raising these emotions in her. She was a pensioner. What money did she have? If her husband had been alive, he would have ordered the man off the grounds. Lilian went outside and found him still at the gate trying to be friendly to the dogs. She gave him the five- rand coin. He took the money, and then vigorously nodded his head.  “I can’t take this five rand.”

“What do you mean?” Lilian asked, not understanding him.

“I can’t just take madam’s five rand. Let me do some work for it.

I see madam has many leaves from the trees on the grass. I can clean it up for madam. I want to work for it.” “It’s all right. Take it. It’s a donation, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, madam, but it’s five rand. I can clean madam’s garden.”

“It’s quite all right. Please.”

“No, madam, I insist. Look over there, look at all those leaves.”

Lilian looked at the carpet of leaves covering half of the garden. She did not have the stamina to argue. “All right,” she said, knowing herself to be foolish to open the gate. William stepped in, and the dogs moved forward, pink tongues idling in readiness. Lilian made a signal and they relaxed.

“Your name is William?” she remembered the name on the letter.

“Yes, madam.”

“William, just those leaves over there.”

“Does madam think I’m a skelm? That I want money for nothing? Those leaves are not even two rand.”

“Well, just do five rand’s worth, then. Really, you don’t have to do anything. I gave you the money. Just those leaves over there. I’ve got to go out in a few minutes.”

“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll be finished now, now.”

Lilian remained at the gate and watched him remove his coat as if he was going to tackle the whole garden. She knew that he knew she was not going anywhere, that opening the gate was more a show of trust than a display of fearlessness.

The rake was under the guava tree and she watched him fetch it and sweep up the fruit, sorting the good ones from the pile. He would take them, he said, if she had no use for them. She said it was all right and watched him collect curled fig leaves and other debris, and stuff them into the bin. “That’s enough, William. Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“No, madam.”

“Really, it’s all right. You’ve done enough.”

The telephone rang and Lilian excused herself. The dogs followed her into the house. She would not lock the door behind her, she told herself. She trusted him. She would show him that she did. She would not make him feel like a criminal. Black people knew that white people were afraid of them. She would show by her actions that she was not one of them. But what if she was wrong? What if he came in after her into the house? The old revolver was in a box at the back of the wardrobe, she would not even know what to do with it. Lilian reached the phone, but the caller had hung up. She became aware of the pulse. Racing. Frantic. She stood for a minute to calm down. She turned. William was at the door. 

“Madam?” he said nervously.

“Yes?”

“I’ve raked the leaves and cleaned up the guavas.”

“Thank you, William. I’ll unlock the gate for you now.”

“I’ve worked one hour, madam. That’s ten rand.”

The effrontery shocked her, but lasted only seconds. Lilian did something with her hand, and the dogs rose. “I’ll ask my husband for the money,” she said.

“There’s no husband, madam,” he said in a calm voice. “Madam lives alone. Why’s madam so afraid? I’m not a thief. Madam will give me the money?”

Lilian’s purse was on the mantelpiece and she reached for it. In front of him she took out a ten- rand note. The tone of his voice had changed, and somewhere deep inside her, she felt a terrible chill. She was painfully aware that the only thing between her safety and his will, was the dogs.

“I only have this ten- rand note. You can give me back the five rand I gave you.”

“Madam wants change? I thought the five rand was a donation. Madam owes me ten rand for the work I did.” Lilian looked at him. The smile on his face told her that he thought her a stupid old woman. That she had no choice. Still, she could not get herself to give him the money. “Leave my house, please,” she said.

“The ten rand, madam.” “Now, or I’ll call the police.”

He came forward.

“Sa!” Lilian commanded the dogs.

The bitches leapt- Tembi at William’s wrist, Tor at his collar- and knocked him to the floor. William screamed at the top of his lungs as the dogs ripped at his clothes and nipped with their sharp teeth at his hands and arms.

Lilian looked at him squirming under the canines. The Alsatians had their snapping mouths dangerously close to his face, slopping saliva all over him. They would terrorize, but not draw blood, not until the other command. Lilian had never had to try that out on them yet. She did not know what the dogs might do if she gave the last signal.

“Please, madam, please!” William shouted. “I’ll leave!”

Lilian left him struggling under the dogs and went to her bedroom. In the wardrobe, she found the little brown box behind Jock’s army paraphernalia, and drew out the revolver wrapped in a piece of green felt. It was heavy , smooth, and she stroked it with her fingers, strangely calmed, aware of the screams in the front room. She could not remember whether Jock had said it was the revolver or a pistol that had a safety catch, and could not remember how to check if the chamber was loaded. There were no bullets in the box. Gripping her hand tightly about the weapon, she limped out. There was a tremendous surge of something pumping through her veins. She was not Lilian Thurgood. She was a woman possessed of only one thought: to come out of the situation alive. In that moment she understood that it took very little to pull a trigger, and that the distance between rational thought and insanity was no distance at all.

“The law says I can shoot if you trespass on my property,” she pointed the gun down at him.

William’s eyes danced around in his head like cherries in a slot machine. His jacket was in shreds, the front of his shirt and face wet with snot and dog spit.”

“Please, Madam,” he begged, “don’t shoot!”

She tightened her finger on the trigger.

“It would be good for some old woman who’s afraid to sleep with her windows open, to read what I’ve done.”

“No, Madam!!”

Lilian Thurgood loomed over him. She could not separate fear from insanity, her trigger finger acting independently of her thoughts. For a few seconds she felt trapped in a vacuum and could not move. The moment passed and she stared down at the gun trembling in her hand. She snapped a command, and the dogs took their paws off his chest.

“Get up, and put the five rand I gave you on the table,” she said

William struggled up on his feet. He felt his jacket, but there was no pocket left.

“It’s in your pants,” Lilian said.

He slipped his hand into his trousers and took out a handful of silver.

“Just what is mine. Put it on the table.”

William did as he was told.

“Now walk backwards out the door so I don’t have to shoot you in the back.”

With the dogs nipping at his knees, William reversed gingerly out the door, tiptoeing backwards down the stone path to the gate. Lilian had the gun pointed at him the whole time, her eyes never leaving his face.

“I’m going to report you to the police, William. I’m going to give them your description and tell them about the scar under your left ear, about the letter you walk around with, about your evil little scheme to get yourself on someone’s premises. I’m going to report you not because I think they’re going to catch you, but because I’m going to shoot you if you come here again.”

Lilian unlocked the gate and watched him edge nervously out. William was wide- eyed, still expecting her to pull the trigger. Without a backward glance, he ran down to the main road where he turned the corner and vanished from sight.

Lilian Thurgood stood very still. Her heart was racing, but the pain in her leg had disappeared. She was stunned. She could not believe what had just happened. A flash of madness. That was the only way she could describe it. She could not believe that it had happened to her, an old woman minding her own business. In sixty- six years, she and Jock had experienced nothing like this. Her hand shook and she put her left hand over her right to still the trembling. She would not think about it. She could not. It would finish her to dwell on what might have happened without the dogs or the gun. What might have happened if she had been forced to pull the trigger.

She took a deep breath, then went inside, forgetting all about the basket of guavas sitting under the tree. She did not immediately put away the gun, and did not rush to the medicine chest for one of her pills. She made a cup of okra tea and sat down at the kitchen table listening to the laughter and shouting of the children in the school yard across the road. The voices were reassuring. They told her that there was life outside the ten- foot walls, that there was hope.

At three that afternoon, Margaret and Ruth and Ethel May came over to play bridge and commented on the high colour in her cheeks. Lilian said she had been raking up the leaves. That night in bed, the gun in its new place under the pillow where Jock’s head used to be, she cried softly into her hands.

1. What is Lilian Thurgood doing when she hears the dogs growl?
2. What happens when Lilian goes to the gate?
3. How would you describe Lilian’s feelings as she takes and reads the letter she is given?
4. What shows that the letter is not genuine?
5. “…especially since the new government…” What new government is the narrator referring to and how has it changed the behavior of Africans?
6. Why is Lilian reluctant to give William her five-rand coin?
7. How does her human nature work against her?
8. “I am not a thief.” Do you agree with William’s assessment of himself? Why?
9. What thoughts and feelings do you experience as you read about Lilian’s encounter with William, and with the woman who sells her flowers?
10. Basing your judgement on Lilian’s thoughts and feelings as she deals with Africans who come to her compound, what kind of a person do think she is?

ANSWER SOME OF THE QUESTIONS:

1. Lilian Thurgood is busy picking guavas at the side of the house when she hears the dogs growl.
2. When Lilian goes to the gate, she encounters William, a young man who claims to be looking for work and presents a letter asking for donations on behalf of some organization.
3. Lilian’s feelings while reading the letter are skeptical and suspicious since she recognizes it as a common tactic used to ask for handouts.
4. The letter’s lack of authenticity is evident from its homemade letterhead, dirty, water-stained appearance, and the fact that it is used to solicit donations.
5. The reference to the “new government” suggests a change in political power, likely a transition from the apartheid regime to a new administration, which may have led to boldness and increased requests from Africans as they seek redress for past injustices.
6. Lilian is reluctant to give William her five-rand coin because she knows it is a significant amount for a pensioner to give away.
7. Her human nature makes her more susceptible to exploitation and guilt-tripping by those seeking assistance or handouts.
8. It is difficult to determine whether William is a thief or not based solely on this encounter. He seems to be using deceptive tactics to solicit money, which raises suspicion.
9. Readers might experience mixed emotions while reading about Lilian’s encounters. On one hand, they may feel sympathy for the plight of those seeking help, but on the other hand, they may understand Lilian’s wariness and caution in dealing with strangers.
10. Based on her thoughts and feelings, Lilian appears to be a caring and compassionate person who wants to help but is also aware of the risks and challenges of assisting strangers, especially in the post-apartheid era where such encounters have become more frequent and complex.

Note:Please note that the passage is quite detailed and nuanced, and different readers may have varied interpretations and reactions to the characters and events described.

1. Describe an experience either in your life or the life of somebody you know where someone took advantage of you or them.
   1. What do you think the community should do to reduce instances of deception?
   1. Do you think the wide economic gap is to blame for the cases of deception and hypocrisy found in our society today, or are there any other reasons?
   1. Discuss the relevance of the title to the story. 

ANSWERS :

1.    Personal Experience: In my life, I once encountered a situation where someone took advantage of my trust and kindness. A distant relative, whom I hadn’t seen in years, came to visit me out of the blue. They seemed genuinely friendly and shared a heart-wrenching story of financial hardship. Feeling sympathetic, I offered them a place to stay for a few days and helped them financially to get back on their feet. However, as the days passed, I began to notice discrepancies in their stories, and they started asking for more money, claiming they were in dire need. Eventually, I discovered that they were manipulating me and had a history of deceiving others for personal gain.
2. Reducing Instances of Deception: To reduce instances of deception in the community, several steps can be taken:

a) Promoting Awareness: Educate people about common tactics used by deceivers and scammers. This can be done through workshops, community seminars, and online resources.

b) Encouraging Critical Thinking: Teach individuals to question suspicious situations and claims, and to verify information before taking action.

c) Strengthening Support Systems: Establish support networks that provide genuine assistance to those in need, thereby reducing the vulnerability of individuals to deceptive schemes.

d) Reporting Fraud: Encourage people to report instances of deception and fraud to the authorities, which can lead to legal action and deter potential deceivers.

• Economic Gap and Deception: The wide economic gap can contribute to instances of deception and hypocrisy in society. When there is significant income inequality, some individuals may resort to deception as a means to survive or improve their financial situation. They may view it as a desperate measure to bridge the economic divide. Additionally, disparities in wealth can lead to feelings of resentment, which may manifest in dishonest actions against more affluent members of society.

However, while economic disparity can be a contributing factor, it is not the sole reason for deception and hypocrisy. Cultural norms, lack of moral values, and personal greed also play significant roles in such behavior.

• Relevance of the Title “The Guilt”: The title “The Guilt” is highly relevant to the story. Throughout the narrative, Lilian Thurgood experiences a range of emotions, such as guilt, fear, anger, and compassion, when faced with various deceptive situations. The story delves into the guilt that some individuals, particularly white South Africans, may feel due to their history and privilege during the apartheid era. The guilt and fear of being perceived as racist or unsympathetic drive Lilian to act generously, even when she suspects deception.

The title also reflects the guilt experienced by those who take advantage of the perceived guilt of others for personal gain. William uses a forged letter and manipulates Lilian’s emotions to extort money from her, exploiting the perceived guilt associated with her race and past.

Overall, the title underscores the complexities of human behavior, the impact of historical contexts, and the emotions that drive both acts of kindness and deceit.

The Guilt, Rayda Jacobs (South Africa)

Even as she rummages for change in her purse, she knew she was making a mistake to empathize with William. People like William took advantage of people like Lilian or murdered them. Lilian, like the rest of the whites, was filled with guilt of having gained her privileged position because of her race. She gives him the five rand, even though she could ill afford it.

1. Plot

a.   Introduction

We meet Mrs. Lilian Thurgood at the side of her house picking guavas. Her twodogs: Tembi and Tor alert her of somebody‟s presence at her gate. She is not a very strong woman; she walks with the aid of a cane. Flowers are everywhere sprouting in her compound and this gives her pleasure.Narrative Hook

She engage‟s the man at the gate in a conversation

1. Rising Action

William       Sidlay          has     a        letter  to       prove that    he      is       collecting     money  for   some

organization. He is looking for handouts(donations) if he can‟t find work. Lilian doubts the authenticity of the letter.

climax

William offers to work for the money. He says it’s too much. She opens the gate for him to clean her garden, despite doubts. He however refuses to stop working when she (Lilian) makes the request. She had to go into the house for the phone was ringing. William followed her there.

• Falling Action

Lilian bids him to leave but he declines. He demands 10 rand for his effort. When she threatens to call her husband, William tells her that she lives alone. He insists on ten rand besides the 5 he’d been given.

• Dénouement

Feeling threatened she sets the dogs on him. She gets a gun from her bedroom. She gets back her five rand before seeing him off. Although she comes out of the episode unscathed, she does not boast about it to her friends, may be still consumes with guilt. Where there was guilt there was opportunity. Write an essay to confirm this using

Rayda Jacob’s The Guilt for your illustrations.

• Setting

The story is set in s white suburb in South Africa. Mrs. Lilian (a pensioner) Thurgood’s home is a fortress, 10 foot high wall fence, and has a large compound in which she has fruit trees: guavas and lemons. She also has flowers in her garden: geraniums, basil and oregano. She lives alone. The incident with William takes place in the morning.

• Conflict.

“The Guilt” has both external and internal conflict. i)    Internal conflicts

• First Mrs. Lilian Thurgood experiences internal conflict. She did not have to answer the call at the gate. She says she had ignored many such calls.

• She also suffers from internal conflict when confronted with the forged letter William Sidlay presents. She takes it anyway.

• She is faced with another instance of internal conflict when she discovers that she has 5 rand 23 cents. The five rand she thinks is too much and the 23 cents too little. She gives him the five rand in spite of herself.

• Another instance of internal conflict is on the night it was raining and she had to get the door. She wonders whether it is racist to it one were afraid to open doors to strangers. She does it anyway to make for the guilt of benefitting from the old regime.

1. External Conflict

• William Sidlay threatens Lilian physically. She gives Tembi &Tor the first command which allowed them to terrorise but not draw blood. She wonders what they might do if she gave the second signal she doesn’t use it.

• Next, she goes for the gun which she uses to drive William out of her compound and survives a potentially murderous situation.

4. Characters

Although several characters are mentioned in this story, the action focuses on Lilian and William. a. Lilian

Physical attributes

• She is a white woman over sixty-six years old and walks with a limp owing to a painful leg for which she takes medicine.

• Assign character traits to Mrs. Lilian Thurgood based on the following situations.

1. “Can I help you?” Lilian asked.

Respectful courteous ii) She handed the letter back to him and said,” wait here,” kind

2

1. Based on the incidents with the African woman who’d knocked her door at night, the woman who’d seen her sitting in the “stoep”, the man who rung persistently at her gate, you would say that Lilian is generous?

1. Her sudden anger when confronted with five rand 23 cents and she longs for her husband’s presence – he would have ordered the man off the grounds.

Insecure

• She would not lock the door behind her, she told herself. She trusted him.

Naive/trusting

• He came forward.

“Sa!” Lilian commanded the dogs.

Decisive vii) The fact that she did not give the last command to the Alsatians nor pull the trigger of the gun. humane

viii) The fact that she did not tell the truth to Margaret, Ruth and Ethel May. modest

Assign character traits to William Sidlay based on the following situations.

1. The fact that he did not panic when confronted by Tembi & Tor. Calm courageous brave

1. The fact that he forged a letter to gain entry into white homes dishonest

1. The fact that he wanted the five rand besides demanding for 10 rand. greedy

1. The fact that he knew Lilian lived alone and that no one was going to come to her aid. scheming

• The fact that he moved towards

• Sidlay producing a letter allowing him to beg after being told by Lilian

that she had no work. persistent

• POV

• Theme

1. Guilt

All the generous actions of Mrs. Thurgood are driven by guilt-she says that it was making good on the guilt, the guilt they were accused of having. ii)

Deception

1. William Sidlay forges a letter that he purports allows him to collect funds for an organisation. It is a plan to gain entry into white people‟s homes and either take advantage of their guilt or murder them.

• The woman who‟d seen Lilian sitting on the stoep deceives her that she will sell

her eight plants for four rand and plant them. She asks for water to

wet the ground when Lilian returns with the hose she finds 30 plants planted

and a bill of 12 rand which she had to pay. iii)     Race relations

• The blacks do anything in their power to take advantage of the whites.

3

1. On their part, the whites feel inclined to help the blacks because of the guilt they have that their privileged position was a benefit of the previous white regime.

Question

Show that people pay dearly for showing their weaknesses. Using Rayda Jacob‟s

„The Guilt‟ show that this is true.